Ibrahim asked 4 years ago
Salam Alaikum dear respected scholars, My current situation is this:
I am interested in a woman who is a Shia Muslim Iraqi who i met at my local Mosque and am well acquainted with her, her friends, her family and the people at our local Mosque.
I am a Lebanese Shia Muslim brother who have managed to stabilize myself financially and am now able to get married and provide for a wife and a future family inshallah.
This girl had been married prior but due to constant domestic abuse and cheating from the husbands side, they officially divorced islamically. It has been more then a year since there divorce and both of them have no intentions of coming together.
The girl has a strong friendship with my cousin who is both a religious and trustworthy person.
I am having issues relating to my parents disregarding this women due to her culture being Iraqi and her previous marital status.If my parents are not accepting of the marriage but the woman in question is a respected Muslim sister.
is there any problem religiously if i am to marry her against my parents wishes?
Can I please get the answer for this in both English and Arabic?
Thank you very much.
mehdi answered 4 years ago
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
We hope this answer reaches you in good health and Islamic spirit.
Based on your specific question and information provided.
From the Islamic Jurisprudence perspective.
For a Man, the Permission for the “Marriage” from your Father / Mother is Mubah ( Optional ).
For a Man, the Permission of your Father / Mother for the actual “Marriage Contract” is Mubah ( Optional ).
If going against their wishes causes them harm, viewed as disrespect to them in your immediate / extended family and / or in your community. It is Haram (Forbidden) and is a Sin. However, you not taking their sincere advice / counsel or going against their wish / preferred option, does not impact the validity of the “Marriage Contract”.
Kindly, note that you have asked if there is a problem religiously. Islamic Scholars divide the Islamic Religious Knowledge / Teachings / Instructions in three parts.
(1) Islamic Fundamental of Faith ( Aqeeda / Belief).
(2) Islamic Ethics/Morals
(3) Islamic Fiqh / Jurisprudence. ( Law / Jurists Opinion )
The Jurist, Only gives opinion from the Legal perspective. They only inform you about the legality of an issue. Islamic Jurisprudence does not ask the “Why” question or rule on Preference of one over the other . For example why you want to marry a virgin and not a divorced person, or why you want to marry a person from one ethnicity / sect over the other nor it gives you preferred options.
It is with in the rights of the parents to give you preferred options or to ask why you are asking for an exception to what they consider to be a norm. In order to preserve the family relations and have a happy life / marriage. This requires a conversation with them in a holistic manner not only from the legality of the issue at hand.
From the Islamic Jurisprudence / Legal perspective if the opinion is Mubah ( Meaning the Legal opinion is Neutral, Optional, you are permitted / allowed to perform this action and at the same time you are permitted / allowed to refrain from it. Final decision to act or refrain or seek permission or not, is at your discretion. Your best judgement is required considering other Islamic Knowledge ( Aqeeda (Faith/belief) /Ethics), and Intention, purpose and your family guidance / Wisdom of the elders / norms of your community or any other issue that may be special to your particular situation.
اَللّٰهُ أَعْلَم
(and Allah(awj) Knows best)
If you have further questions kindly contact us at (718) 297-6520 Ext 113 Monday to Saturday between 11:AM – 3:00 PM.
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